17

Whilst I don’t hide that I adore pop music and all its connotations [the power of youth (not just being young keep it mind), the uncontrollable emotions that only music can conjure etc], the lyrics of this genre seem to always obviously fit into 2 extremes of either general and repetitive, or the personal – with the personal always being much more beautiful. Songs such as Nicola Robert’s Take a Bite and probably the majority of Lily Allen songs (recommendations to 22 and Hard out Here) are visual proofs of artists who can work their mind, and give out messages which you are assured are, so, real.

Mika is an example of these ‘hidden artists’, (Joe Mcelderry, Leona Lewis etc) who had that one insanely high peak on the wheel of fortune, but sadly couldn’t sustain it in the mainstream. Even so, this doesn’t mean they aren’t still popular, and continue to express desires and feelings in smaller settings – it’s sad to think that only the ‘outrageous’ can ever be talked about. As I was listening to his 2^nd album The Boy Who Knew Too Much for the first time a few days ago, one song made close attention to relating to me:

“Hey you what's a good girl like you
Doin' in this crazy world?
Where's the good gone girl?

Dance, dance to the life you wanted
When you were only 17
With your good girl dream”

-          Good Gone Girl

Whilst this song could be interpreted in many ways, I thought that it was mainly the frustration at the same type of girl appearing into Mika's life ever year (“I’ve heard it all before”) who have a completely distorted perception of love, ignoring its core message. The women featured go out with a “solider”, or someone who can play “guitar”, purely because of this singular, desired quality. We are left with a sad, never ending path of doom for the women  (“she’s got nothin’ left to lose”) who just can’t seem to understand why their men won’t stay with them, or why they become bored – the movement between men is never told, but my 2 theory’s are not very positive for mankind at all.  We must remember that Mika doesn’t have a grudge against women: you can see his gender 'fluidation' in his songs, constantly referring to men and women, boys and girls, and their changing behaviours (rightly so!). Even though I will probably never know the thoughts behind the song, but Mika is bisexual, so we can assume that he doesn’t feel this way about all women – but damn, we can all think of some who feel like it!

I find it curious how much I can write informally, but my flow of ideas doesn’t stop. Going back to my lyrics shown, these actually show a reflection on the women’s past: Oh, 17, that beautiful in-between age. The “Good gone girl” who had so many ambitions, had such a beautiful outlook on the world – you have youth, you have money to spare, you don’t have a care in the world. This feeling is an exact replica of Abba’s “Dancing Queen” –

“You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine”

You’re the Dancing QUEEN. No one can beat the feeling of euphoria being young gives; feel the beat of the tambourine! Forget all your worries, because you have none: follow that tambourine!

Simply, this blog post will now be a celebration of the incredible age, 17. Whilst Taylor Swift has increased these ideas to the age of 22, I hope that artists will increase this age continually upwards – as we know that feeling young can last forever, but there’s till that nagging thought in my head that music’s predictions will have the final say. (e.g Phillip Larkin’s poem, Love Songs in Age)

I will always count my awful memory as a blessing, as it means I have countless diaries, photos and so much more to remember my lifespan as a whole. As a expansion of what Mika and Abba are saying, I’d add to the list by writing simply why being 17 is so wonderful – why it has been ecstasy, that nothing has gone wrong, that I am young and dumb, and not ready at all for the world and young enough for the law to say ‘its not my fault’ and go to jail – I am the Prince, the dancing Prince <3

And also more darkly, from fear that these feelings will be lost, in years to come.

So, background over, this is more a symbol of the era, and a kind and fond memory for me, of why being 17 has been so incredible. So many times at all these moments, I will look up, and thank god, knowing that one day this will end, knowing that one day may be so much worse than today’s. Thankyou God, for my youth <3

 (Note I’ve had to shrink down these paragraphs so many times, there’s just so much to cover):

- Work. I work as a Customer Assistant at Boots, which is such a adorable company: every shelf must have so many rows of an item showing down to strict instructions, billions and billions of food items are trashed every day, and I am in such a low position on the chain that I’m constantly asking for advice (I do prefer it that way!), but the knowledge that I am surrounded by people and a brand who really do value and care for me, makes my job, fun! It truly is fun! I’ve learnt so much about Fragrance as well: I’ve learnt everything about it from work, I now don’t leave the house with something on (I feel like it’s an extension of my personality). Not being able to cut Cardboard so getting Jacob to do it, Beccas ‘good will gestures’, constantly being asked where the water bottles are (you don’t even realise), and the WHOLE gang and their missions to get me a boyfriend. It’s a 2^nd home.

- Gangshow Gangshow reminds me of a blanket. I could cry and cry, and gangshow's warm arms would never let go: I truly can imagine when I close my eyes seeing all these people in later years, and catching up with no awkwardness. It’s just so much more than a sing and dance show – its everything ELSE that makes it wonderful. A true family. I hate how I can’t remember anything of the 2012 show, and I’m terrified how being at Gangshow makes me feel will just disappear when it finishes again. A dome of protection. Drunken, hilarious stories. Simon’s manly angry voice when everyone’s too loud. Joy’s tattoo, EVERYONE with their driving tests, the whole wacky group photo during the prom number, being put in the dance number complaining to EVERYONE I can’t dance, that picture-perfect shot of when I told everyone I was blocked from facebook and they laughed and laughed …oh, just so many things. Gangshow, an incredible part of my youth.

-Love – A long time ago I decided to give up on love at this age, every relationship I've seen has broken so far – why do I want to break my heart with someone petty? If I break up I want to feel the heartbreak, feel the sorrow of knowing I've lost a piece of me, not a ‘oh well’. And because of this, I have been so much more focused on work – I just don’t understand how people in relationships at college do it to be honest! Also the fear that I will never find the man I've concocted in my mind is one I reason I don’t go out and look. Gosh, it just terrifies me.

-Explorers The camping ground for stereotypical masculinity. Even so, during my last camp, the last thing I said to my leader was ‘thankyou for respecting me’ – he replied ‘you’re a good kid’ and ruffled my hair. XxXx

-College. Once again, it’s not the main idea of the activity, but everything extra, which makes it so memorable. Oh I hate generalising, but I just feel incredible there! Yes I seriously doubt I’ll get the grades I want (ABC), but the actual journey has been a whirlwind of pleasure. Making a whole new posy with the student union, the drama of the old GSA and finding complete Bliss by being Co-President this year, being allowed to just enter rooms without knocking because the people in their know me, staying late so many days I come to the doors and they’re just locked, running late so having to do such a huge power walk (and whilst I’m on time for the lessons, others would be late even though we came off the same bus), my old, glorious AS psychology class who so many people I don’t see for very long anymore, but for the times I do I treasure, and overall the glorious, glorious friends and teachers who I can literally list one by one, and remember and tell you why they individually mean the utter and pure world to me. Remove exams….and it’s my heaven.

-Music. The feeling of Ecstasy. Knowing that when I have those headphones in, I can dance, I can twirl, as I am the centre of attention, and all eyes are on me. I am the star for that 3 and a half minutes. I may not have the future I want, but my mind, that’s something (hopefully) that can’t be taken away.

Thankyou 17, I’ve felt the beat of the tambourine, and I’ve danced to the life I want for the future. You’ve made me feel so pure, so innocent, just so….perfect. #LoveLife Nothing, could, and ever did, break me. But, will I become a Good Gone Girl?

For now, Thankyou. Thankyou.

X